If You Don't Have...

This is my "if you don't have" list and these are substitutions I have used out of
desperation. 

If you don't have bug spray try...
*glass cleaner
*bathroom spray foam
*hair moose
*disinfectant spray
*spray rubbing alcohal
*spray cologne

If you don't have laundry detergent try...
*dish detergent
*shampoo

If you don't have body lotion try...
*hair conditioner

If you don't have a toothpick try... 
*a safety pin
*a sewing pin

If you don't have place mats try...
*old newspapers and lay them on the table

If you don't have coasters try...
*using old magazines to put your drinks on

If You Don't Have...Poem

If you want to kill a bug, but have no bug spray
you can use these few items on a desperate day:
glass cleaner, foam bubbles, or disinfectant spray.
If you don't have laundry detergent, but you need
to wash your clothes...
use dish detergent or shampoo cause no one will
ever know.
If you have hair conditioner, but no lotion go ahead,
you can just use that instead.
If you have something in your teeth, and there's no
toothpick, a safety pin or a sewing pin will surely do the trick.
If you just realized that you have no place mats for your weekly
luncheon, old newspapers will be okay for your little function.  
You really need some coasters, so you look around and think...
I can use this stack of magazines to hold the drippy drinks.