My Deodorant is Gone Poem

My deodorant is gone...Oh this isn't fair.
What will I do now with my underarms bare?
I know what to do! I won't lift up my arms,
even though I'll be stinkin' I'll distract with my charm.
And when someone wants an innocent hug,
I will just lie and say that "I have a bug."
Who wants to hug someone that could make you sick?
I'm keeping that person from smelling my ick.
But I've learned my lesson I need to prepare.
When it comes to deodorant always have a spare.
 

Underwear Vanity Sizing

My son had outgrown his boy's XL underwear, so I figured he'd be going up to a
XXL in boy's or a small in men's. As I read through packages of boy's underwear
I didn't see XXL, so I went to look at the men's underwear. I was very surprised
to see that the weight and waist size for men's small underwear was the same as
boy's XL. That means if a man wears a small in men's underwear he also wears an
XL in boy's. This has to be underwear vanity sizing. I guess to soothe the ego of 
a small man retailers created small men's underwear to be the same size as boys XL,
that way a man wouldn't feel uncomfortable while buying boys underwear for himself.

Perfect Corn Dogs

I love crispy corn dogs, but it's hard to get crispy corn dogs from the oven that
aren't burnt. And if you cook the corn dogs in the microwave they'll be good and
hot in the middle, but they won't be crispy. I decided to combine both cooking
methods to get perfect corn dogs.

First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. After the oven is preheated follow the
microwave directions on the box, but take away a few seconds from the cooking 
time. Check the corn dogs and when one side of the corn dogs are hot they're ready 
to be put into the oven. Be sure you spray non-stick cooking spray in your cooking
dish. Place the cold side of the corn dog down in your cooking dish and cook the 
corn dogs for 13 to15 minutes. Enjoy your perfect corn dogs.

Chemicals in MP3 Player

I recently ordered an MP3 player for my son from a huge well-known retail chain.
When the delivery guy delivered it only my husband and son were home, so I didn't
get to see the MP3 player until I got home from work. After reading the directions,
I decided to look at the package that it came in. On the back of the package on a
small sticker were these words: Warning! This product may contain chemicals
known to the state of California to cause cancer, and birth defects or other repro-
ductive harm. I was shocked and mad when I read this message because my hus-
band didn't read the message before he opened it. Plus, I wasn't warned on the
website about the possible dangers of this product, and I bought this for my son. I 
wouldn't let him play with something that could possibly cause him cancer!

It is a shame that some retailers sell products knowing that the products they sell 
could possibly hurt or kill their loyal customers. My husband returned the MP3
player for me, because I refused to let my son play with it. If you order something
be sure you read the package carefully, otherwise you may be harming your body
or your child's body.

Cigarettes and Your Pet

Today I saw a lady driving her van and smoking a cigarette and she wasn't alone.
Her dog was in the passenger seat no doubt "enjoying" her cigarette too. I know
it was her van and her dog, but I wondered how many pets become ill due to
secondhand smoke from their loving owners.

According to no-smoke.org, secondhand smoke is dangerous to pets. Breathing
problems, lung cancer, and nasal cancer are just a few of the health effects that a
pet may have to deal with. You also need to know that if your pet ingests a ciga-
rette or cigar it could die.

If you really love your pet think about the health effects the next time you light up.
Imagine how you'd feel if you knew you contributed to your pet's death.

 
Cigarettes and Your Pet Poem

Cigarettes and your pet,
have they already met?
When you smoke your pet smokes too,
his life depends on you.
Even if the window's cracked
his lungs will still be hacked.
Cutting years from your pet's life
don't tell me that sounds right.